All In My Head
by BellazB
Summary: One Shot. I don't understand what happened. Where did we go wrong? It wasn't supposed to go this way.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**AN: I've updated this since I published it.**

* * *

**All In My Head  
**

_I need your love_  
_I need your time_

I sat in the office, watching everyone else interact. I saw a couple interact, tears sprung to my eyes. This was too much. It's too hard. Every second my heart was ripping apart from the pain. This wasn't how it was meant to go, we were meant to be together forever. Get married and have kids. This was meant to be the start of a new life not the end of it.

_When everything's wrong__  
__You make it right_

I stand and exit the office as quickly as I could. This was too much. When I made it home I broke down in tears, thankful for the privacy to do so. I stare longingly at his door as I pass it before shutting myself away in my room. I turn my music on, blasting it loud in my ears while I change. Half of the closet empty. It only made me cry harder. This wasn't how it was meant to be. This was meant to be the beginning of a new life not the end of it. Why did this have to happen? Where did it all go wrong? I cry myself to sleep.

When I wake the next morning and am getting ready to leave for work, I see him sleeping on the couch. I stare at his face before leaving for work. Longing to reach out and run my fingers through his hair. I take a deep breath before leaving the house.

_I feel so high__  
__I come alive__  
__I need to be free with you tonight__  
__I need your love_

Work is long and tiring. He messages me. I can't open it. I can't read it. He calls me. I can't answer it. I try to focus on work to make the pain disappear even for a little bit. I need to keep my mind distracted, I need to stay busy. I try and stay away from the house after work, just to have some space.

_I need your love_

* * *

Weeks pass and the feeling never changes. I'm always hurting, always in pain. It never goes away. I work long hours to avoid coming home to face him. He seems so happy with the decision to just be friends. Everyone asks me if we're going to continue living together or not, I don't have an answer. I want everyone to stop asking me these questions. I just want to be left alone for a little bit. My friends all keep messaging asking if I'm okay, I know they care but I just don't want to talk about it at all. My mom has asked if I want to come visit her in Florida for a couple of days, I think I will accept her offer just to get out of New York for a bit. I think I'll take a week off work to clear my head. I pull my phone out of my pocket and dial her number.

_I take a deep breath every time I pass your door__  
__I know you're there but I can't see you anymore_

_And that's the reason you're in the dark__  
__I've been a stranger ever since we fell apart_

* * *

I'm sitting on the towel on the beach, reading my old copy of Wuthering Heights.

"Are you feeling better hon?" My mom asks from next to me. I sigh as I put my book down.

_And I feel so helpless here__  
__Watch my eyes are filled with fear_

"A little, I'm not really looking forward to having to go back tomorrow." I say.

"Why's that?" she asks as she turns over to get some sun on her back.

"Because, even though I've had my space…I'm still totally in love with him," I explain to her. Mom looks at me and smiles gently.

"I'm sure it will be fine, hon. Maybe he'll have come to his senses and will be ready to work things out."

"How do you work things out from feelings changing?" I ask.

_Tell me do you feel the same__  
__Hold me in your arms again_

"He might have realised he made a mistake of breaking things off and that his feelings really haven't changed that much," she offered as she sat up.

"Yeah, maybe, ready to head back? I gotta pack," I asked as I started packing away my things.

"Sure, I'll help you pack too," mom smiled at me as we packed up our things.

_I need your love__  
__I need your time_

* * *

_When everything's wrong__  
__You make it right_

I stood at the carousel waiting for my bag to appear. I was tired from the flight, I just wanted to get home and sleep for like 12 hours. Why does it always take this long for baggage to come off the plane?

"Bella?" I freeze as I hear that voice. The voice I haven't heard in at least a week. I turn slowly and there he is, Edward. He looks like he hasn't slept in weeks and he hasn't shaved in about a week.

_I feel so high__  
__I come alive_

"Edward, what are you doing here?" I ask in surprise as I turn back to make sure I don't miss my bag.

"I, uh, came to pick you up from the airport," he says. I look back at him and he's wringing his hands together nervously. I smile nervously at him.

"Thanks, that's nice of you," I spot my bag and go to grab it.

"Oh I got it," Edward offers as he steps forward and picks it up for me. "Ready to go?" I nod. We start walking towards the parking lot. It's so awkward; I don't know what to say to him. We don't talk until we get into the car.

_I need to be free with you tonight__  
__I need your love_

"So, uh, how was your trip?" Edward asks.

"It was good, was nice to see my mom after such a long time," I reply. I look out the window, watching the world whiz past. Why does he always drive so fast?

"Do you want to go to dinner and catch up?" Edward asks. I shrug.

"Sure, where do you want to go?"

"How about that Italian place you love, Casa Bella?" I shrug again.

"Sounds good," I say.

_I need your love_

* * *

This is so awkward. Why does it have to be like this? How are we going to be friends if we're this awkward around each other? Edward clears his throat.

"Hey, I've been thinking over the past couple of weeks," he starts, "about us and this situation,"

_Am I dreaming? Will I ever find you now?__  
__I walk in circles but I'll never figure out__  
__What I mean to you, do I belong?_

"What about it?" I ask with a shrug as I take a sip of water. My hearts pounding, I'm not sure what he's going to say. I'm not sure how much I want to hear it. He slowly reaches his hand out to touch mine.

_I try to fight this but I know I'm not that strong__  
__And I feel so helpless here__  
__Watch my eyes are filled with fear_

"I…I've realised that my feelings haven't changed and I want to get back together with you," I look at him in shock.

_Tell me do you feel the same_  
_Hold me in your arms again_

"What?" Did I hear him correctly?

"I'm still in love with you, I don't want to be just friends," he says as he takes both of my hands in his. I'm staring into his deep green eyes trying to understand if this was true. Am I dreaming?

"I…don't…I…is this true?" My brain is whirling and I can't make sense of it all. I want it to be true so badly, but if it's not then it will hurt so much more.

"It's true, Bella. I love you and I want to get back together with you," he says as he comes to sit next to me in the booth "what do you say? Would you like to get back together?"

"Yes, I want to get back together," I say. Edward cups my face and leans in to kiss me slowly. This felt right.

_I need your love_  
_I need your time_  
_When everything's wrong_  
_You make it right_  
_I feel so high_  
_I come alive_  
_I need to be free with you tonight_  
_I need your love_

* * *

"Miss? Miss? Excuse me, miss?" I'm brought out of my daydream by the cab driver. I jump.

"Yeah?" I say as I rub my eyes.

"We have arrived at your destination," he advises.

"Oh, yeah, how much do I owe you?" I ask as I dig through my purse for my wallet.

"It's $64.20," he advises. I pull out a couple of notes from my wallet and pass them to him.

_All the years_  
_All the times_  
_You have never been to blame_  
_And now my eyes are open_  
_And now my heart is closing_  
_And all the tears_  
_All the lies_  
_All the waste_  
_I've been trying to make it change_  
_And now my eyes are open_

"Thanks very much, you have a good night," I say as I climb out. I shake my head as I stand outside my apartment building. "It was all in my head…all in my head…" I mumble to myself as I walk into the building and up the stairs to the apartment.

_I need your love__  
__I need your time__  
__When everything's wrong__  
__You make it right__  
__I feel so high__  
__I come alive__  
__I need to be free_

**The End**

* * *

**Song - I Need Your Love by Calvin Harris feat. Ellie Goulding**


End file.
